My cousin is dropping her only child off at school today for the very first time. I dedicate this post to her, and to moms everywhere who are bringing their little ones to school for the very first time xoxo.
I know how nervous and overwhelmed with emotion you are right now. Dropping your daughter off at school for the first time is a milestone – and a nightmare.
I could tell you that you’ll be upset but it won’t be that bad. I could tell you the you won’t be thinking about her every minute of your day. I could tell you that you won’t have the urge to call school, “just to check on her,” over a thousand times today. But I’d be lying.
The first drop off is gut-wrenching. It feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. You will doubt every decision you have made – from the choice of the school all the way down to her first day outfit. You will doubt yourself as a mother, asking yourself these questions, and many more, repeatedly:
- How could I just hand my daughter off to TOTAL STRANGERS?
- What if she gets hurt? Will they know how to calm her down?
- What if she has to go the bathroom but is afraid to talk to the teacher and has an accident?
- What if there’s an asshole bully in her class and he/she hurts her?
I wish I could take all these fears and anxieties away from you. I’ve lived this scenarios three times over. And the bottom line is this: IT’S HARD. But hard is not bad, it’s just, well, hard. There’s no away around it, only through it. You’re experiencing another “rite of passage.” This is another step on your motherhood journey, a journey that you and Emma will walk together. You will guide her on this journey. But, sometimes, she will guide you. She will help you discover strengths you didn’t know you had. You will feel a love so deep that you think it’s the most it could ever be – and then it will grow even deeper. She will teach you more about life than you can even fathom at this moment.
So the best advice I can pass on to you is to allow yourself to feel a sense of gratification today. You grew this life in your body. You taught her how to eat food with utensils, how to “go potty,” how to say please and thank you, and I know you taught her how to stand up for herself (old school Brooklyn style). YOU gave her all the skills she will need to succeed in school. Be proud of the job you’ve done!
There will be tears, hers and yours. But you will make it through. I wish I could be there with you, to offer more support than this simple letter. Just know that if I could be there, I’d be walking behind you with a box of tissues – and a big pitcher of sangria. 🙂
You will ROCK the first day drop off. I know it.
Love you to the moon and back.